January 2012

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A important reminder of the simple things that are so deeply important!

My daughter and niece put this poster up in the Hospice room my mom spent her last few weeks.

What would you add to this list?

RIP: Mom we miss you. Today I am going to eat well, sleep well, enjoy my family and not stress too much or worry…

Enjoy the weekend folks.  Leadership is first about – Leading Self–this is an important reminder!

 

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Where are you: Left side of this graphic leads to burnout!  Right side leads to thriving!

From: Adapted from the Energy Project.

Presence Stress Quadrants

What Is Emotional Resiliency?

Adapted From: Stress Management @ About.com

 

Emotional resilience refers to one’s ability to adapt to stressful situations or crises. More resilient people are able to “roll with the punches” and adapt to adversity without lasting difficulties; less resilient people have a harder time with stress and life changes, both major and minor. It’s been found that those who deal with minor stresses more easily can also manage major crises with greater ease, so resilience has its benefits for daily life as well as for the rare major catastrophe.


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What Influences Emotional Resiliency?

Emotional and physical resilience is, to a degree, something you’re born with. Some people, by nature, are less upset by changes and surprises — this can be observed in infancy and tends to be stable throughout one’s lifetime. Emotional resilience is also related to some factors that aren’t under your control, such as age, gender, and exposure to trauma. However, resilience can be developed with a little effort. If you know what to do, you can become more resilient, even if you are naturally more sensitive to life’s difficulties.

What Are Traits of The Emotional Resilient?

Resilience is not a quality that you either do or do not possess; there are varying degrees of how well a person is able to handle stress. Still, there are certain characteristics that resilient people tend to share. Some of the main characteristics are:

  • Emotional Awareness: They understand what they’re feeling and why.
  • Perseverance: Whether they’re working toward outward goals or on inner coping strategies, they’re action-oriented — they trust in the process and don’t give up.
  • Internal Locus of Control: They believe that they, rather than outside forces, are in control of their own lives.
  • Optimism: They see the positives in most situations and believe in their own strength.
  • Support: While they tend to be strong individuals, they know the value of social support and are able to surround themselves with supportive friends and family.
  • Sense of Humor: They’re able to laugh at life’s difficulties.
  • Perspective: Resilient people are able to learn from their mistakes (rather than deny them), see obstacles as challenges, and allow adversity to make them stronger. They can also find meaning in life’s challenges rather than seeing themselves as victims.
  • Spirituality: Being connected to your spiritual side has been connected with stronger emotional resilience, especially if you’re internally connected and not just going through the motions of attending services. (This doesn’t mean that people who aren’t spiritual can’t be resilient, just that this connection has been found.)

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Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed- A Reason for All of Us to Live Slowly…….

This article excerpted from a piece on the  Arise India Journal (Dec 22 2011)

full article here…..http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/

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When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never

became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a
result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.

That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness


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