Are You Present?

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As a leader, manager, or team member,  the most important skill you can develop is to be fully present in your interactions with others. This act of presence is probably the most important and vital skill in a world of constant busyness.

Being present means focusing fully and engaging with another person or group in the present moment, undistracted by other commitments, future tasks or other events.

People need to be heard, respected and  know they matter.

Have you ever walked into someone’s office to have an important conversation only to find them preoccupied by routine distractions like opening mail, taking calls, signing paperwork, or otherwise disengaged?

In your virtual meetings can you feel the lack of focus, patience and listening required to be effective and productive?

What do you feel prior to these predictable interactions?

How does this effect your own focus and preparation for interactions?

How do you prepare yourself for interactions?

How do you influence others to be present with you?

 

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Choose To Lead?

A Question For Today’s Workforce

With all of the focus these days on leadership skills and competencies, an additional question needs to be asked.  The issue is not so much how to lead, although that is important, but who should lead.

Organizations that focus on leadership at the top exclusively are missing a major opportunity and could be making a fatal mistake.

With flatter organizations, multiple generations comprising the workforce and a great deal of people working virtually, leadership is required at all levels in every organization.


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To build strength in an organization, they need to grow from the ground up.  In a rapidly changing, fast moving world, it is vital that non-leader individual contributors posses the interpersonal skills to complement their technical skills, and to learn to lead, influence and get things done through others.

These individuals may aspire to rise through the levels of the leadership pipeline or to be the very best in their area of expertise.  Either way, certain core “Smart Skills” are essential to their personal achievement as well as the organization’s business growth.

To develop individual contributors into leaders, companies must provide guidance, training and coaching.  People must be challenged to step up and lead and they must be provided opportunities and support.

In a recent Hay Group study, they identified six Megatrends for the future.

  • Accelerating globalization (globalization 2.0)
  • Climate change, it’s environmental impact and scarcity of resources
  • Demographic change
  • Individualization and values pluralism
  • Increasingly digital lifestyles
  • Technology convergence

People must develop their capacity to recognize and manage their own emotions and to react appropriately to the emotions of others.

Learning to manage interpersonal conflicts and redirecting inappropriate energy is key to building Emotional Intelligence. Additionally, as part of the leadership foundation, a technology knows, as Appreciative Inquire is essential.

Appreciative Inquiry is a technique for deliberately seeking to discover people’s exceptionality – their unique gifts, strengths, and qualities. It actively searches and recognizes people for their specialties – their essential contributions and achievements.

Appreciative Inquiry explores various ways to build relationships, ask great questions and surface the best possible solutions to problems and challenges.  As opposed to focusing on what is “wrong” in a particular situation, Appreciative Inquiry looks at what could be “right” and what may be possible in that same situation.  Appreciative Inquiry is the solution for augmenting traditional problem solving and integrating the newer approaches to solution finding.

This combination of Emotional Intelligence and practicing Appreciative Inquiry arms the individual with a foundation of insightfulness, flexibility and curiosity.

Next, people must learn the skills of influencing and negotiation.  With so many cross-functional organizations, teams comprised of vendors, customers and individuals from several companies and the global/virtual environment in which we must manage, learning to influence and negotiate is mandatory.  No longer can managers and executives edict outcomes and enforce rigid processes and procedures.  More modern agile methods are now called for.

Influencing is defined as the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command.  Also, it is defined as the power or capacity of causing an effect in indirect or intangible ways.

Techniques for influencing others, methodologies for both formal and informal influencing and information and knowledge on various cultures will be required to influence while working with diverse cultures.

Next, a technique called Interest Based Negotiations represents a much more effective way to negotiate conflicting positions as it is based on expanding the mutual interests of the parties as opposed to the traditional Win/Lose model of position based negotiations.  People find these techniques extremely valuable as they allow them to gracefully navigate many of the difficult situations in which they find themselves.

Developing skills in conflict resolution, collaboration, understanding human emotions and negotiating for mutual gain is essential for the leader of the future.

Lastly, but definitely not solely, people must learn to manage outcomes and results and take responsibility, not only for their own work product but also for the ultimate success of projects, products and business initiatives.  Skills such as managing stress & change and high-level communications are required to manage up, down and across in organizations.

 

In order to effectively manage stress and change one must explore the physical and emotional costs of our 24 X 7 X 365 work world.  Understanding stress and the impact on our physical body & emotional well being, learning to minimize and manage stress, handling continuous, rapid change and maintaining a healthy mind/body/spirit balance are survival skills for today’s work environment.

 

People must develop the ability to communicate effectively in today’s complex business environment.  Many organizations operate “virtually” and therefore communication is even more difficult.  Identifying barriers to effective communication and learning how to overcome them along with understanding everyone’s role in communication is essential.  Developing deep listening skills and influence and persuasive communication are also part of the skills required for the new leader.

 

No longer can individual contributors wait to be told what to do and managers and executives cannot expect strict compliance to their orders.  A business culture based upon collaboration and mutual trust must be developed.  Leaders at all levels will learn to cooperate, collaborate and accept responsibility and accountability in new and different ways.

 

Never has there been such an opportunity to transform the work environment to take advantage of the skills and talents resident in every organization.  Never have the reasons for making these changes been so compelling.

 

The question we must all ask and answer is:

 

Will we, or will we not Choose To Lead?

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A important reminder of the simple things that are so deeply important!

My daughter and niece put this poster up in the Hospice room my mom spent her last few weeks.

What would you add to this list?

RIP: Mom we miss you. Today I am going to eat well, sleep well, enjoy my family and not stress too much or worry…

Enjoy the weekend folks.  Leadership is first about – Leading Self–this is an important reminder!

 

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Where are you: Left side of this graphic leads to burnout!  Right side leads to thriving!

From: Adapted from the Energy Project.

Presence Stress Quadrants

What Is Emotional Resiliency?

Adapted From: Stress Management @ About.com

 

Emotional resilience refers to one’s ability to adapt to stressful situations or crises. More resilient people are able to “roll with the punches” and adapt to adversity without lasting difficulties; less resilient people have a harder time with stress and life changes, both major and minor. It’s been found that those who deal with minor stresses more easily can also manage major crises with greater ease, so resilience has its benefits for daily life as well as for the rare major catastrophe.


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What Influences Emotional Resiliency?

Emotional and physical resilience is, to a degree, something you’re born with. Some people, by nature, are less upset by changes and surprises — this can be observed in infancy and tends to be stable throughout one’s lifetime. Emotional resilience is also related to some factors that aren’t under your control, such as age, gender, and exposure to trauma. However, resilience can be developed with a little effort. If you know what to do, you can become more resilient, even if you are naturally more sensitive to life’s difficulties.

What Are Traits of The Emotional Resilient?

Resilience is not a quality that you either do or do not possess; there are varying degrees of how well a person is able to handle stress. Still, there are certain characteristics that resilient people tend to share. Some of the main characteristics are:

  • Emotional Awareness: They understand what they’re feeling and why.
  • Perseverance: Whether they’re working toward outward goals or on inner coping strategies, they’re action-oriented — they trust in the process and don’t give up.
  • Internal Locus of Control: They believe that they, rather than outside forces, are in control of their own lives.
  • Optimism: They see the positives in most situations and believe in their own strength.
  • Support: While they tend to be strong individuals, they know the value of social support and are able to surround themselves with supportive friends and family.
  • Sense of Humor: They’re able to laugh at life’s difficulties.
  • Perspective: Resilient people are able to learn from their mistakes (rather than deny them), see obstacles as challenges, and allow adversity to make them stronger. They can also find meaning in life’s challenges rather than seeing themselves as victims.
  • Spirituality: Being connected to your spiritual side has been connected with stronger emotional resilience, especially if you’re internally connected and not just going through the motions of attending services. (This doesn’t mean that people who aren’t spiritual can’t be resilient, just that this connection has been found.)

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Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed- A Reason for All of Us to Live Slowly…….

This article excerpted from a piece on the  Arise India Journal (Dec 22 2011)

full article here…..http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/

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When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never

became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a
result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.

That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness


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15 Emotional Intelligence Traits of Highly Successful People

 

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1. The have High Level Capacity for Adaptability

They are flexible and willing to adapt to new conditions around them.


2. They are Assertiveness

They are forthright, frank, and willing to stand up for their rights.


3. They have High Emotion Perception (of self and others)

They are clear about their own and read other people’s feelings.


4. They  Are Expressive of Their Emotions

They are capable of communicating their feelings to others.


5. They Can Positively Influence the Emotions of Others

They are capable of influencing other people’s feelings with care and respect.


6. The Can Regulate Emotions

They are capable of controlling their own emotions .

 

7. The Have Low Levels of Impulsiveness

They are reflective and less likely to give in to their urges.


8. They Build Positive Relationships

They build and nurture fulfilling personal relationships.


9. They have High Self-esteem

They recognize their success  and build their self-confidence


10. They Are Self-motivated

They are determined and unlikely to give up in the face of adversity.


11. They are Socially Aware

They possess  excellent social skills.


12. They Manage Their Stress

They are capable of withstanding pressure and regulating stress.


13. They Have Empathy

They are capable of taking someone else’s perspective.


14. They are Happy

They are  satisfied with their lives and celebrate success


15.They Are Optimistic

They are confident and likely to “look on the bright side” of life.


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Recent Gallup Research worth reading

 

Bad bosses

 

http://www.gallup.com/poll/146867/Workers-Bad-Jobs-Worse-Wellbeing-Jobless.aspx

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This is a guest post by Erin Palmer, Erin Works at Bisk Education/Villanova University

 

How SMART Goals Can Increase Employee Engagement

Getting your company’s employees to be engaged can be a tough task. Deadlines and heavy workloads could lead to workers doing the bare minimum just to get by. However, there is evidence that employees who are more engaged in their jobs tend to produce a better end-product.

While there are numerous motivational “tricks” to keep employees engaged, most leave an individual feeling unfulfilled.  We recommend the use of SMART goals for a more thorough and reliable tool for increasing employee engagement.


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What is a SMART goal?

SMART goals are essentially detailed, measurable plans with a deadline attached to them. While a traditional goal such as, “I want to get a promotion” is nice in theory, it doesn’t include a concrete means to an end. SMART goals have five essential characteristics:

1. Specific – Goals are streamlined and specific. No blanket statements here.

2. Measurable – The goal’s progress is measurable in some concrete way.

3. Attainable – It’s one that you can actually achieve and is realistic.

4. Relevant – A goal should have some relevance to who you are. A goal that requires you to completely change who you are as a person might not be a relevant one.

5. Time Bound – An element of time has to be included, otherwise you have no deadline to push you toward obtaining it.

Why a SMART goal?

SMART goals promote learning for employees. Instead of just being rated on performance, individuals will work to understand weaknesses and try to improve when necessary. Employees embrace their goals as a benchmark for success. Having a clear objective is reassuring that they’re on the right path.

These goals are a way for employees to individually contribute to the company’s success. While they feel like a bigger part of the team, they also recognize that they’re achieving personal success and possible promotion within the company.

Interaction is another important reason why SMART goals help in increasing employee engagement. As they work toward their goals, employees will get feedback on their progress. Managers will interact closely with everyone and start developing better relationships. Workers are more likely to voice their own ideas and feedback when they’re having regular conversations with higher-ups.

Team morale will be better as well. It starts with the employee-manager interactions and trickles downward. Team members working on projects will begin to ask more questions and help each other when their work environment promotes such action.

Since everyone is trying to accomplishing their goals, employees will learn new tactics that help them in doing the job. They may even develop better ways to accomplish tasks associated with the job and increase overall productivity for the company. Brainstorming sessions between employees or with managers will become commonplace. The SMART goals help workers understand that others in the company may have better ways of doing the same tasks they’re doing.

Employees are looking for a chance to grow. Who wants to do the same job for years and years without ever learning something new or advancing within the company? SMART goals keep everyone motivated and striving for greatness. Coupled with encouragement from the company, SMART goals will lead to happier, engaged employees – something every business should seek to accomplish.

University Alliance, a worldwide leader in interactive education, provided this article. SMART goals are very popular in project management so to learn more about them consider taking a project management certification course or even an MBA in Project Management.

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Choose To Lead?


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1. I can influence and affect the quality of my work, life and family.

2. My personal initiative is almost always rewarded, either through

recognition from others, self-satisfaction of doing my best, or

through the experience I gained.

3. It is in my own best interest to obtain the direction and/or

support I need to get the job done.

4. Most people want to and are willing to help me learn a new skill

or achieve a goal.

5. I stay ahead of the curve by taking the initiative to identify and

challenge my own assumed constraints.

6. I create the conditions for my success when I take ownership for

my  responsibilities and actions.

7. I am accountable for my work, effort, and outcomes, thus helping

to eliminate a victim mentality and culture of entitlement that

serve no one, least of all me.

8. The personal and professional rewards of responding to challenges

through the insights, skills, and actions of the self leader are

worth the effort.

9. My choice to leader feeds my my work and life purpose, enables me to act on my values, and achieve my aspirations.

10. Change is inevitable; growth is optional—it is up to me to be the

change I want to see in the world.

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